Hello World.
My name is Dana and I’m 33 years old. I’m a Reading Specialist for an elementary school here in the same town I reside in. I’ve been married to my incredible husband, Dan, for 8 years; been dating for 14. Together we have three sons. Our oldest, Angelo, is five years old and just started kindergarten this year. He’s energetic, strong willed, independent, and testy, with a love for helping people. Our second, Matteo, is three years old and goes to preschool. He’s our blue eyed, gentle hearted animal lover who is calmer, has an imagination like you wouldn’t believe and pretty obsessed with dinosaurs.
Together they were so excited and awaited their baby brother’s arrival. To see them kiss my belly and talk to their brother warmed my soul to the core. My three-year-old would blow raspberries on my belly and ask if he could feel them. My oldest talked about how he couldn’t wait to hug and kiss him once he got home. He kept calling him Rocky and asked if we could name him that. Looking back at it now, the name is so very fitting when I think about the fight our son put up.
You see, our third son, Julian, passed away just 36 hours after birth. He had a head full of dark hair like you wouldn’t believe. He had his daddy’s eye shape with the cutest little button nose. He also looked very much like his older brother, Matteo. He was perfection.
I cannot sit here and describe the deep and immense level of pain of loosing a child. But I can certainly help others who are going through it, as well as to guide those who don’t know how to approach people like me; the grieving parent. I have had several people reach out to me to tell me they have learned something through my Facebook posts on how to help people such as myself, or that my story has inspired them to keep going in their own lives. I thought about how many more people I can reach if I were able to share our son’s story even more as well as the deep grief that has now consumed my life. Even with the ending of his story not being the outcome we could have ever imagined; it still gives me a reason to talk about Julian. So, I will keep talking, keep writing, and forever speak his name. Because when I do, it makes me proud. Proud to have created such a perfect life who I birthed into this world. Proud to be his mother. Proud of the way my boys mention his name each day. For when I keep speaking of him, his memory will live on forever, and that is just what I intend to do, until I take my last breath.
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